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an EK4 loom will work as it's OBD2a

but the OBD2b loom you have won't plug and play as described above

It sounds like you're trying to use an EK9 OBD2b engine harness, which is not gunna work.

Do you have only 2 ECU plugs on the engine harness? (Not on the adaptor)

yeah doesn't sound right, show us a pic of the ECU plugs