Instead of asking to be shot.....you could ask how to do it yourself so you don't ever pay again for wheel alignments.

If you have lots of time and not lots of money, here is some tinkering you can do yourself:
I have an adjustable rod made up with a cow's horn shape, set of points at each end.
You can measure the distance between the inside of the front tyres, at the front and rear at axle height. The difference is the toe setting, which should be about 2-3mm toe in.
If this is OK, then adjust each track rod the same length (say lengthen the LHS while shortening the RHS) to recentre your steering wheel.
If that's too hard, use a string line along the side of front and rear tyres.
You can actually see fairly accurately if you have a millimetre or so toe by this method. This is the way I do my rear wheel alignments.

lol