Scared my itr is a vt-r....

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^ everything above is correct and what i think.

i think it's a 4.4 fd because:
i found the gear ratios for the integra type r 96 spec, sir-g and itr 98 spec engine.
put them into a calculator
went out for a drive
and found that at 100km/h in 5th i am doing ~2800 rpm, and the calculator for the 96 spec itr transmission gives me 2880 rpm....

Which calculator did you use? The mfactory gear calculator reports ~3233rpm @ 100kph for a 96 ITR transmission.

2800rpm is too low for an ITR @ 100kph. Assuming a 23.4inch tyre height, 4.4 FD, 0.848 5th gear, 100kph = 3324rpm. A 0.878 5th gear from a VTiR/GSR gives 3084rpm. A non-vtec S80 gives 2700rpm with the longer FD and 5th.

My non-vtec B18A does 110 at just under 3300rpm indicated => calculator (excel) reports ~3200. This is a higher rpm per unit speed than your "ITR" transmission. Suffice to say I there's something fishy going on.

I don't think you're in the clear just yet.