do not use washer, by using washers, u are creating 4 separate loads on the hub itself from the wheels, even if u torque it up evenly doesn't mean it will work and as pointed out the wheels will be off as washers aint designed for this particular application,
so realistically speaking, having a flat mating surface u spread the load evenly across the hub, so the idea of using washers is rather a odd one LOL
Theres a reason why race cars or show builders dont use washers to space out, even if its 1mm lol
Do it once, do it right and go for the spacer, 3mm isnt going to kill u
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