The oil filter is only $12 when servicing at Honda.
I would use only Honda OEM brake/transmission fluid. The only non-Honda fluid I would use is windscreen washer and engine oil. I am running Motul 8100 5-40w in my Euro without any difficulties, having run in the car on Motul 4100 semi-synth. I am tempted to give Mobil 1 (gold bottle fully synth) a try though... except I do not think $80 every 6 months for oil is justifiable.
If you provide all the parts, yes they deduct it off the cost of your servicing. It is very unorthodox for someone to bring in 'all' the parts rather than just engine oil. Labour is the most expensive part of most services anyhow.
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